deep inside me, i'm hurt.

"I’m a human with so many imperfections"

lately, i've been hurting myself way too much.

i listened to people around me, what they talk, claimed or judge abt me.

 the things i'd like to say...

 i can't accept the fact that some of my loved ones 

described me as "so immature" in her english oral test (ulbs)

babe, i knew you're being honest but  that's really harsh. 

for me, it might be okay to say that i'm a bit childish/ kiddo

and the reason i act that way maybe bcs i'm the last one in siblings.

if you'd like to talk abt bad things on me infront of your classmates,

why bother doing that on your test and 
why bother bad-mouthing on me

even if you didn't like me? 

at least, u should exclude my name on your bestfriends' list. 

thanks, i'll cherish that. 

the other one thing, 

i felt very frustrated to be in this situation

somehow i don't feel like i can ever cope to this

**

my dearest friend,

i'd like u to know that i respected your decision to be friend with him

and i dont even have the right to stop you from being friend with him

but...everything has changed now.

i just thought u probably might or

you'd rather pick him over me

in so many situations such as

you'd rather talk thru the phone with him longer compared to me

it's not i didn't like u with him but

yeah, i noticed a few little things..

u're so into him until you forgot the feelings of mine or maybe friends of mine.

i'm not forcing to tell everything about your life but...

idk, i just realized that you're leaving me behind

sometimes, i called u thru the phone,

the conversations weren't the same as we used to have at schoool.

you didn't seems to have interest to talk w me, like you're exciting enough to talk with him.

it weren't the same.

maybe you were tired but was it everytime when i called on you?

at the moment when i realized it, 

i didn't feel like i'm much important in your life compared to him.

the point is,

"being friend w someone special is okay (maybe the best feeling) but please don't left behind your girl friends' feelings. your girl friends' are always w you though"